Lacey Sturm was, for ten years, the lead singer for the Dove Award winning hard rock band, Flyleaf. She has made several guest appearances on MTV and her vocal recording, Heavy Prey, can be heard on the Motion Picture Soundtrack, Underworld: Awakening.
Pretty…talented… and a professed atheist who had no need in God.
“I hated Christians. I hated people who talked about Jesus. They always seemed to be pointing their finger at me, telling me this hateful thing, this hateful speech. You know God hates you because you do this… and if you do this…then God’s hates you and is going to send you to hell. And so I never wanted to be around Christians and I sure didn’t want to go to church.“
Lacey shares that when she was 10 years old a very tragic event occurred in her family. Her Aunts husband had brutally beaten her 3 year old cousin to death. The event would prove to be the beginning to the end of her believing in God.
“If God was big and good, then why didn’t he protect my cousin who was so tiny and good and so awesome? He was such a funny, brilliant little guy, why wouldn’t God protect him from a huge muscle guy like his step dad who beat him to death?
She shares that in the same year that her cousin died, that she began thinking about the depth of evil that was in the world. That she never wanted to have kids..
“It would just be a new person to suffer. That was the year I started to cry myself to sleep every night and stopped believing in God.”
As years continued to pass, Lacey’s depression deepened. She started studying various religions, but found that there wasn’t any tangible healing in them.
“I couldn’t get away from my own depression…” I’m tired of the pain in my heart. I’m tired of going to bed that way. I’m tired of feeling like a burden. Just tired of not knowing why I am alive.”
Unhappy, depressed, tired of living that way, Lacey decided that she was done with life and planned to commit suicide.
“I remember the night that I laid in bed, knowing that I was going to commit suicide the next day. I didn’t want to live past tomorrow.”
That next day Lacey’s grandmother knew that something was not right and pleaded for her to go to church. After much arguing, Lacey gave in….“just to shut her up.” What she heard at that church service surprised and “freaked” her out.
“So I went to the back of the church and slumped down in my chair and hated everybody in the room. The pastor started speaking, and I hated him more then anyone. Then he said, there is a suicidal spirit in the room…and of course all the hair stood up on the back of my neck (well this is weird).”
Lacey shares that she got up and went to the door where a white headed man was standing there and stopped her. He told her that the Lord wanted him to speak to her.
“The Lord wants you to know that even though you’ve never known an earthly father, that God will be a better father to you then any earthly father could be. God knows the pain in your heart. He has seen you cry yourself to sleep at night.”
Lacey shares that the idea was so overwhelming to her, and that the white headed man asked her if he could pray for her so that Jesus can take the pain out of her heart.
“He put his hand on my shoulder and started to pray. It was as if the God of the universe had showed up right in front of me. And the first thing that I noticed was that God was Holy and good. And the second thing I noticed was that I was not holy and not good. If God would have looked at me and said go away forever, He would have been right, it would have been justice. The same time I felt that…I felt him inviting me to an embrace of grace and love unconditional.”
Lacey continued to share that what she experienced was God saying that He loved her and knew that she was tired of the way she had been living and He will make her new if she would let Him.
“My heart just said yes…yes. I need that, I want that. Please. And that is why I woke up the next day. I just felt a peace and a joy that I hadn’t felt before.”
Now a few years later, Lacey is happily married and enjoys being a mother of two. She says…
“Jesus saved my life, and on top of everything…the life of my son and the new baby. This wouldn’t be if Jesus hadn’t rescued me.”
Lacey now wants to share a new song. A song that is in her heart. May you enjoy listening to the song Mercy Tree, sung by Lacey. May the lyrics be as precious to you as they are to her. For we are all in need of being delivered..being rescued.
Death has died. Love has won! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
You can hear Lacey’s full story. told by Lacey – here.